Look, I’m not saying they aren’t AWESOME, I’m just saying they are hypocrites.

I’ve just learned that Stephen Fry has had to cancel a trip to Japan because some jokes about Hiroshima and Nagasaki were made on his quiz show, QI.

Well, maybe it is too soon to be making jokes about the deaths of  200 000 civilians.

But can Japan really play the victim here?

Yes, you would Tojo. Yes, you would.

I won’t be surprised if you haven’t heard about The Rape of Nanking. I mean, it’s like the second worst tragedy in the history of the world (after the Holocaust) but it’s something that isn’t discussed much.

Let me tell you all about it.

World War II started in 1935 with the invasion of Ethiopia (Abyssinia). I choose this date because it marked the start of the fascist states’ attempts to take over the world.

Shortly thereafter, things started to suck.

Dicks. Dicks everywhere.

The next event on the time line happened in 1937 when Japan invaded China, again.

Like Italy’s invasion of Abyssinia and Germany’s invasion of Poland and later Russia this invasion wasn’t just about controlling land. It was about freeing up space for settlers to move onto the land. And when the land you want to settle already has people on it…well…there’s only one thing for it: genocide.

When the Japanese moved into Nanking they had the deliberate goal of completely exterminating the people. The death tolls vary wildly, as if often the case with illegal military actions. But the most reliable estimates put the number of dead at over 150 thousand.

Just for context, let’s bear in mind that this is roughly equal to the entire death toll in both Iraq and Afghanistan combined.

And this was a single city.

The slaughter was so bad that Nazi diplomats actually hid Chinese civilians (who they considered to be sub-human) to save them from the death squads.

Lol Nazis are the best kind of Nazis.

Did I mentioned the roughly 80 000 women who were raped?

Well, turns out, roughly 80 000 women were raped.

It’s actually funny to note that when America occupied Japan there was an outpouring of pro-American fervor, among some sectors of the population, because the Americans were so nice about everything. The average Japanese person was going:
“You’re gonna do what?! Help us rebuild our economy? Holy crap dudes! If we’d won the war we’d be raping your daughters to death by now.”

So why am I getting all up in Japan’s grill about this? Well, friends, the fact that Japan was responsible for this ridiculously horrible atrocity is bad enough. But the fact that it took until the NINETIES for Japan to even admit that the Rape of Nanking happened is kinda annoying. The fact that prominent Japanese are still trying to claim that all the casualties were a result of “legitimate military action” just pisses me right off.

I mean do they really expect us to believe that all those civilians died by accident?

You mean we’re not in Kansas any more Tojo?

And I don’t even want to talk about Unit 731, Japan’s secret biological and chemical weapons testing facility, where they introduced the world’s most horrible toxins and diseases into local peasant villages, just to see what the fuck would happen. That was in addition to the human vivisection, which is basically the surgical removal of organs from live, conscious, human beings, without anesthetic. They also forcibly impregnated women so that they could harvest their babies.

Oh, and all the “doctors” in the Unit escaped prosecution because America gave them immunity. Their data and expertise were “too valuable to lose”.

Holy crap, I wish I was making this shit up.

But, oh dear! Some people on QI made some jokes (in very poor taste) about Hiroshima and Nagasaki and now Japan is all butthurt.

Remind me to care next time you see me.


The deathclaws represent Japan’s butthurt. The cigarette represents the G&T I’m going to be having after this post. The sweet hat represents a sweet hat but ignore the goggles: they do nothing.

[Standard Disclaimer: this post was entirely my own opinion and was not paid for in any way, directly or otherwise, by anyone or anything that stands to gain in any way from the ideas expressed herein.]

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