That is the question, but before you answer it perhaps I should explain what I mean.
Picture for yourself a sandy country that I will not name. A hypothetical woman gets attacked by thugs and beaten with sticks. She is given care and support and her community vows to hunt the men down and make them pay.
Now, picture the same hypothetical woman getting jumped by thugs and, instead of being beaten she is raped. In this scenario instead of support she is looked down upon, publicly rejected, and then told that she needs to commit suicide, in order to get her “honour” back.
What the fuck?
The question I ask myself is: why do societies react so differently when sex is involved? Why are many parents comfortable with their late teenage children smoking and drinking, but not comfortable with the idea of them having sex? Physical and sexual abuse are BOTH horrible and wrong. Why do we, as a culture, always assume that sexual abuse is “worse”?
The age restriction for a movie where a few dozen people are BEATEN TO DEATH: PG 13.
The age restriction for a movie where 2 people make love: 16, at least.
Why is sex still such an issue?
Now in the case of the rape victim it’s pretty transparent. There are still many cultures on earth where patriarchy is alive and well, and where a woman’s worth is determined by her ability to bear children for the man who has claimed her. And heaven help her if there is a chance that she might bear a child that came from someone else.
You see the same thing in cultures that force women to undergo “female circumcision”
(for those who joined us late “female circumcision” is a euphemism for the forced amputation of the CLITORIS, without anaesthetic, to make it almost impossible for women to enjoy sex, and thus make it less likely that they will cheat on their husbands. Don’t believe me? Google it.).
But the weird thing is: the same shit seems to be happening in our culture too, albeit at a much more subtle level. It’s a clichéd example but when a guy shags a girl on the first date he’s ‘the man’, but when a girl shags a guy on the first date she’s a ‘slut’?
And I bet some of you thought that me referring to a girl “shagging” a guy is incorrect. Why? Why are you assuming that the man is the initiator, and the woman is just a passive receiver? Fucking sexists! :b…
Why? What possible difference can it make that the one has a Y chromosome and the other one does not?
Now you can argue that men and women react to sex differently, and maybe that’s true, but what I’m talking about isn’t how you, yourself react to sex, I’m talking about how other people react to YOU based on your own feelings about your sex life.
If someone feels cheap because they had a one night stand then there can’t be anything wrong with how they feel, it was their one night stand, it is their own feelings they are dealing with. They have a right to feel cheapened.
But how did we end up in a culture where someone ELSE has a one night stand and YOU treat them badly because of it? It’s their life, it’s their decision, leave them be!
(Continued on Page 2)